Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
