grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
