So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize