my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
