Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
