What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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