Your dad touched me again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
