woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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