dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
