Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He felt like a one man threesome
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
