So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
