New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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