this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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