The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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