You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
