hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
