Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
