That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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