You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize