You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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