Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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