Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
