you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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