I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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