Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
