weddingsv make me drug and hornr
bring money and cleavage
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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