awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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