On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
this hospital has no fireball
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
