i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
