the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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