bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
