Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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