Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
