I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
