i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
