Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
