And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
