So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
