i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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