Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
