remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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