no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You are the jesus of drinking
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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