Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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