Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize