when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
