even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
