Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
