so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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