OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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