Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We need to feng shui this bitch.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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