For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
