Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
