Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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