she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize