I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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