The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
