that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
