Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
