My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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