It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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