nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
