dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
