they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
