i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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